How to choose a poem
Start with the person. Remember by Christina Rossetti speaks for a husband, wife or parent who wanted the family to go on living. Crossing the Bar by Tennyson suits someone who met death calmly and believed they would see God; the sea images fit a sailor or anyone who loved the water. Death Is Nothing at All by Henry Scott Holland asks the family to keep laughing and keep saying the name, and families often choose it for a celebration of life.
Think about how the person died. After a long life, a calm poem rings true. After a sudden or early death, the light tone of Holland can feel too easy, and Rossetti leaves more room for grief. Read the poems aloud together before you decide. If you are torn between two, take the shorter one.
Where the poem goes
In a funeral service the poem fits in the welcome, after the eulogy or at the close, before the committal. In a celebration of life it often comes with the sharing of memories. In a homegoing the pastor sets the order; ask before you add a poem. A poem can also sit on the back page of the program, next to a photo, without being read. The funeral program maker puts it where you choose and adds the poet's name. For scripture, see the readings for a funeral.
Reading it aloud
Ask someone who can read the poem a few times beforehand. Old poems have sentences that run over the line endings, so breathe at the punctuation, not at the end of each line. Read slower than feels natural and wait a moment after the last line.
A poem by a recent poet
Many loved funeral poems are by poets who are alive or died recently, and those poems are protected by copyright. To print one you need permission from the rights holder, often the publisher. Paste the text into the builder and name the poet; the program adds the credit line.